Detective: Parents should be part of kids' online world

One of the worst nightmares many parents never hope to discover is that a sexual predator made contact with their children in cyberspace, which includes social media.

But the reality is that it’s happening.

St. Mary Parish Schools Technology Facilitator Susan Dupre and Sheriff’s Office Detective Lt. Howard “Buddy” Rogers agree that parents and children must be in conversation about the possible dangers awaiting them out there.

“As soon as you let your kid online, you start teaching them good viewing habits and safety,” Dupre said.

Create “an alias that doesn’t reflect who you are or where you are,” Dupre said. “Use passwords that don’t have anything to do with your family or your school.”

Communication with parents and children must be ongoing because technology is constantly changing and evolving.

In 47 percent of the cases involving an internet-initiated sex crimes victim, the predator offered gifts or money during the relationship-building phase, according to the U.S. Justice Department website.

Rogers’ role as a law enforcement officer and father keeps him on his toes to ensure the safety of his youngest son and also tracking down predator activity. Rogers works in the Juvenile Division.

Once upon a time, laptops and desktops were the central hubs for communicating online, which also allowed for easy monitoring. But cellphones have quickly replaced those, Rogers said.

And everyone, including minors, has access to the pocket-size computer. According to netsmartz.org, 58 percent of 12-year-olds have a cellphone. Ninety-five percent of teens (ages 12-17) are online.

Rogers’ children are 21, 18 and 12 years old. His 12-year-old knows how to navigate easily in the online world, much to Rogers’ surprise.

His 12-year-old also has a YouTube channel.

“One day, he comes up to me and he says, ‘Hey Dad, look at my YouTube video …,’” Rogers said. “My son has a YouTube channel. My son has a YouTube video already up and going.”

The first thing Rogers told his son was to remove all identifiers.

“One of the first things that we did was you need to take your … junior high school jacket off, and we started talking to him about everything that was in the video.

“It went from my little 12-year-old to my 12-year-old is seen all around the world now. … We’ve had to work with him on content and being aware, because he was very impressed that somebody is following him.

“He’s got followers now.”

Rogers told his son those followers he’s excited about are not just kids.

“We had to go through the whole explanation process of it’s not just kids following you,” Rogers said. “It’s adults following you. And why an adult would want to know about skateboard shoes, I don’t know.”

Those adult followers raise an eyebrow on the deputy and father.

“Me, doing what I do, I started talking to my son about that,” Rogers said. “They might not be worried about skateboard shoes. They want to get information so they can meet and talk to you.

“My big thing is no interaction between these people. Yes, you can put these (videos) out. But you’re going to have to be very careful of who wants to talk to you because you never know their motives.”

Gamers are not excluded from the need for internet safety.

Ninety-seven percent of online teens (ages 12-17) play on the computer, Web, portable, or console games, according to the netsmartz.org website. Twenty-seven percent of them play games with people they first met online.

“Cellphones have opened up the world directly to our youth that has very little worldwide experience,” Rogers said. “It is scary. But definitely, definitely the parents have to be engaged with their kids. They’ve got to know what they are doing.”

Seventy-three percent of children who have offline sexual encounters with offenders do so more than once, said the website.

The whole point of the cellphone is to communicate by pictures, voice and videos. Therefore, Rogers has the passwords for his children’s phones, even the 21-year-old.

“I’m paying for it,” Rogers said. “I have access to it. It’s just like a diary. They’ve got things in there they don’t want you to see. And if that’s the case, give it to me. I’m going to see them. And they know Daddy will take up their phones and look at them.”

In addition to cellphone password access, Dupre advises parents have online accounts on the same sites as their children for monitoring purposes.

“When your children are younger, they are very willing to share their passwords with you,” Dupre said. “If they should make a new account, you should also have access to that account.”

Young people aren’t supposed to have social media accounts until they’re at least 13.

“But some parents start their children’s account younger, and that concerns me,” Dupre said. “You should share in their accounts.”

With all the parental monitoring and open communication with children, there will be times that kids will simply just be kids.

“But there is going to come a time when they will figure out a way of avoiding having you as a friend,” Dupre said. “They will be smart enough to figure that out.

“All you’re left with is the good advice that you’ve given them until the time that they feel they are independent enough to go out and do it.”

A digital footprint will follow you the rest of your life, Rogers said. Anything you say, add pictures or videos, or any comments using a cellphone or other computer device, are saved to a database somewhere.

Deleted Facebook accounts and Snapchat pictures or videos are also stored on the database “and will come back to haunt you when you least expect it,” Rogers said. “You want your digital to be as light as possible. Kids don’t care. They’re living now. They’re not thinking about the future.”

Dupre posts online safety tips on www.stmaryk12.net. These same tips can also be found on each district school’s website. The posts can be found on the SMP Cyberspace tab at the bottom of the website page.

“So, it’s important that we keep educating as parents, we keep educating ourselves about the threats,” Dupre said. “And talk to them in a language they understand.”

St. Mary Parish Sheriff’s Office is available to give seminars on internet safety and the dangers of social media. For information, contact Detective Traci Landry at 985-384-1622.